When it comes to meeting someone online, it is really easy to come across as boring. The main reason for this is quite simple, I think. When you are speaking to someone organically in person, your own ‘you’ slips through in everything you say. From your quirky ways of speaking to your change of tone to the kind of language you drop in subconsciously, there are many ways that we become unique when talking in person. When talking to someone digitally, though? We tend to retain our inner ‘phone voice’.
We correct words we normally replace with slang. We avoid saying things that are a key part of our personality. And, crucially, we don’t worry about what we say, but how it comes across on-screen. In my view, this is why online dating is so hard for so many people. They are terrified of their personality coming across as weird that they revert to their workplace, professional persona.
And, I am sorry to say, it makes you come across as terribly dull. It forces us to talk about the most boring topics, and the kind of chatter we basically avoid with actual friends and family. Worst of all, though? It makes us talk about food.
Food is something that we all eat – it does not matter if you eat meat, vegetables, chocolate, or anything else. We all have to eat – it’s quite important. Sadly, many of us tend to spend far too much time talking about food when online dating. Why?
As I mentioned I believe above, we speak so much about food because it can be a safe topic. Everyone likes food, right? So why not spend your time talking about something you know is a safe topic?
The Problem With Food In Online Dating
The only problem with talking about food is that we often try to use it as an ice-breaker, before just spending far too long talking about food. Look, you might think its weird that you like mushroom and pineapple on a pizza. But do you really need to spend 30-minutes of online dating time talking about food?
Food in general is a safe topic we like to turn because we think we can make ourselves sound quirky and interesting. By saying you don’t eat X but love Y, you hope it kind of signals that you aren’t just the same old person they normally speak to. However, by hiding behind food and trying to slowly show off your personality by your ‘wacky’ food choices? No, it’s not the look you think it is.
Instead, the next time you go online dating, try and keep the food chatter to a minimum. Food is that a topic that can be a decent quick icebreaker, but try and move the chatter on from food to something food-adjacent.
The worst online dates are the ones where you realise you spent 2 hours talking, but absolutely nothing of value was learned. Let someone walk away from your next online dalliance knowing who you are, not what you would order in a restaurant!